It's a Green Thing
by matsujen
Summary: NejiXTenten.  There are two things that knock out the great Hyuuga Neji... the curry of life, and Konoha’s latest fad.  Happy Birthday to my most favourite character in the world!


It's a Green Thing

NejiXTenten. There are two things that knock out the great Hyuuga Neji- the curry of life, and Konoha's latest fad.

This isn't a birthday story. I just wanted to post something funny for his birthday. And I could only hope that it'll work XD

Naruto is not mine.

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He arrived at their training area earlier than the rest, as always. Although he usually liked the idea of training, that wasn't the case that day. Gai told them that they need to meet because he has an important announcement- but why, of all possible days, that day? He had shifted posture several times as a sign of annoyance. He was getting impatient. He should be at home, getting ready for that night. Not that he's nervous, right? There's no reason to be nervous. It's just Tenten, right? He just wanted to do it right the first time. First time, he thought. He became even more annoyed as his thoughts drifted back to his conversation with Naruto earlier that week.

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"Yatta!" The blond exclaimed.

"Will you keep it down." He said, more like a command.

He knew he shouldn't have discussed the matter with Naruto. But what's he supposed to tell him when they saw each other at the mall?- him, Hyuuga Neji, buying a new outfit. And upon the mention of the word 'date', he found himself being dragged by the fox to Ichiraku's. Heck, why did he even thought of getting new clothes? It was only Tenten. It's not like they just met and he needs to give a good impression. They've known each other for ages and he was positive that if anyone in Konoha knows him, that's her.

"It must be special… for you to dress up!"

"Those were free tickets."

It wasn't something to be proud of, however true that line was. But even he was somewhat surprised of himself. Why was he getting into so much preparation? Perhaps he got carried away by her excitement- the way that her wide brown eyes sparkled when he asked if she wanted to go to the carnival with him. It was just the carnival, and he got those two tickets for free. He wasn't really interested and besides, he didn't have anyone to ask. But he didn't like the idea of wasting either. And so, after training, he asked her. He was expecting her to say yes but he wasn't expecting that she would be that happy. Though she always seemed happy to him, that was happiness at a whole new level. And he just had to do something to give justice to that reaction.

"But it's your first date so it's still special!"

"Finally, you're dating a girl!" The blond continued.

"Hn."

_Translation: You idiot. You talk as if you're a pro at these things. You actually consider your dragging Sakura to Ichiraku's, where you have to split the bill, a date?_

"Looks like I'm going to win the bet!"

"Bet?"

"Well, Shikamaru, Kiba, Chouji, and I had a bet going on…"

"At my expense, I believe."

"It's just for fun!"

"…"

"Wouldn't you even ask what it's about?" He said as he finished his bowl.

"It doesn't matter."

"You're really one boring guy! Another bowl, please!"

He only sighed in response. He was busy thinking of what gift to give her. Flowers are customary but he wanted to give her something that wouldn't wither in days. It's funny to think that everything started with free tickets, even funnier that he was sort of enjoying the planning process.

"Are you sure you don't want to know what it's about?" He asked as he started his second bowl.

"Fine, what's it about?"

He asked just so Naruto would stop bugging him. It's probably a long, yet senseless story and while the loud shinobi talked, he can go back to his gift giving thoughts.

"We're betting on why you're not dating!" He answered so proudly.

"I couldn't have thought of a better way to spend my free time." He replied flatly.

"Chouji said you're scared. He said geniuses like you and Shikamaru are scared of girls."

A piece of jewelry would be too much for a first date, he thought.

"Shikamaru said his vote goes to whatever reason we didn't pick."

She all ready has a lot of weapons that she could start her own weapons museum, he thought.

"Kiba said you're gay."

He nearly choked on the ramen as he made a mental note to shut down the dog boy's 64 tenketsu points as soon as he shows up on their front door when he picks up Hinata for training.

"Actually, Kiba beat me to that option!" Naruto continued as he laughed his heart out.

But Neji was glaring at him and soon, the laughter faded.

"I was just joking… you don't have to look at me like that!"

"Tch." He was starting to lose his patience.

"You know I have a good opinion on you…"

Naruto finished his second bowl to the last drop.

"I said you're waiting for free coupons!"

With that, Neji stood up and emptied his bowl onto Naruto's head, leaving the blond screaming as he bathed in hot soup.

"NEJI! GET BACK HERE! I'LL DESTROY YOU!" He yelled with the bowl still on his head.

"You haven't paid you bill!" Ayame called.

"Naruto will pay for it!" He said as he continued walking away.

"WHAT? I DON'T EVEN TREAT SAKURA-CHAN SO WHY SHOULD I PAY FOR YOUR RAMEN?"

"Hn."

"DON'T GIVE ME A 'HN'! COME BACK HERE!"

---------

He sighed as he walked towards a tree. This better be a really important announcement, he thought as he sat down under the cool shade. He was getting excited for that night. It wasn't like him but he had to admit that, at least. He wondered if she's going to appreciate all his efforts. The carnival tickets were free but he wasn't Naruto and he didn't want his date to feel that she was only worth a free ticket. Since Tenten's favourites seemed to be strangely similar to his, he made a dinner reservation at his favourite restaurant. Ichiraku's is like something you'll go to after training. And this is not after training. He recalled how crazy it was that it took him so long to figure out what gift to give her. And after much thinking- he never had to do much thinking during missions- he bought her a teddy bear. But Hanabi liked it so much that he had to get a new one. It was a blessing in disguise because he found a stuffed panda which he thought was more appropriate for her. It's all set then. All he had to do is wait. And waiting is probably the most difficult part it.

He closed his eyes. Those three were running late but instead of exhausting his energy, he tried to focus his mind to meditate. He started picturing fields of greens in his mind and soon he felt relaxed. He was in the middle of such thoughts when heard some noise, coming from above. He didn't mind it though, but then a branch fell and hit his head. He opened his eyes and looked up annoyingly. Twigs and leaves were falling- then something else.

Green.

Stretched.

"NEJI-KUUUUUUN!!!"

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He was walking but he didn't know why. He was off to a place but he couldn't remember where. Something is wrong, he thought. A couple of minutes later, he had noticed how everyone kept on looking at him. Sure he was different but that's only because everyone is in green. A Gai Day doesn't exist in Konoha so why is everyone wearing that hideous green attire. Was Gai appointed Hokage for a day? Something is definitely wrong.

"Neji!"

He saw Naruto waving cheerfully at him. As usual, he was at Ichiraku's. But it was rare to see the usually orange clad boy in green. He sat down beside him, eyeing him suspiciously. Then he remembered. Naruto actually likes the look. He was very thankful when Gai gave him one of those. So that explains Naruto, he thought- but what about the others?

"Did they run out of stocks again?" Naruto asked.

"Of what?"

"Of these!"

"Why are you wearing that in the very first place?" He just had to ask.

"Why not? Everyone is wearing these!"

"So I gathered."

"What would you like, Neji?" Ayame asked.

Neji looked up at her. She was in green as well. He found that he wasn't so shocked anymore though he still couldn't come up with a logical explanation for such an anomaly.

"No. I have to go." He said as he stood up and left.

Naruto and Ayame exchanged glances.

"He's weird today." Naruto commented.

Ayame nodded.

---------

"There you are!"

He turned around and saw Kiba with Akamaru. Just like the rest, he was in green too- including his nin dog. He was expecting it and a smirk made its way across his face. And this is the same guy who thinks I'm gay, he thought.

"Hey take that look off your face!"

"Hn."

"I know it's a bit tight on the crotch!"

Heavens, he thought. Why did he have to bring that up?

"But at least I'm not outdated like someone here!" Kiba continued.

Neji sighed. He always knew talking to men in green tights was nearly if not completely pointless.

"Well, what do you want from me?"

"The Hokage is looking for you!"

"I'll go see her."

He really could use the visit. He wanted to know what was going on and unless he sees someone in a regular, ordinary outfit, he wouldn't get the proper explanation he's looking for.

---------

The walk to the Hokage's mansion was fast. He wanted it to be fast. Not only is he getting glances from everyone, but Kiba is walking with him- and he's getting more glances if not stares. Neji could only guess why. He knocked at the door and it opened with a smiling Sakura greeting them. He froze for a moment. He was eager to see the Hokage but seeing her precious apprentice in the same green tights made him wonder if he was in a parallel universe. Why would the Hokage allow her to wear something so indecent? Unless...- his thoughts trailed off. Sakura was standing before him, covering the view of the Hokage's table.

"I've brought him here, just as Tsunade-sama told me." Kiba said.

Sakura thanked Kiba as she moved to allow him and Neji inside the room. Neji was anticipating seeing the Hokage. His heart was pounding and soon, the pink haired kunoichi was out of the picture. And his heart nearly stopped. Godaime-sama is wearing the impossible.

"Hyuuga Neji!" The Hokage called out.

He has all ready gained a good distance to hear the Hokage calling his name or Kiba complaining that he had to look for him only for him to dart out of the Hokage's office after just a few seconds.

---------

He was walking along the corridor that leads to his room. The only safe place for him is the Hyuuga manor. Of course, Hinata and the rest of his relatives wouldn't wear something so horrendous. He wanted to sleep. Maybe all the insanity will disappear when he wakes up.

"You're… home…"

That soft voice coming from behind him, he knew it was Hinata. He responded with a simple nod.

"Otousan… Neji-niisan… he's… he's here…"

He didn't bother. He continued walking towards his room but then a strong hand grabbed him by his shoulder. It was his uncle- wearing green- to his extreme shock.

"Here."

It was the only word that came from him as he handed Neji a piece of green clothing. Neji wanted to refuse, every corner of his body wanted to refuse but he was too shocked to do anything. He just remained staring at his uncle, strict and stoic, wearing that scary outfit.

"Hinata… help me with this."

"Hai." Hinata answered as she approached them.

"Neji… I bought this for you. Try it on."

That last line sounded somewhat garbled to him. But then Hinata held his hand and he jolted. His mild cousin was holding him down with the help of her father as they try to undress him and make him wear something that he wouldn't wear even in exchange of all the powers in the shinobi world.

"Let… LET ME GO!!!"

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"Lee! What have you done to him?" Tenten asked when she heard Neji give another scream.

"I told you, I was in a hurry and I stepped on a weak branch!"

"You should be more careful! What if he had a concussion?"

"I'm really sorry!"

She merely crossed her arms as she sat under a tree. Why is this happening on our first date, she thought. It isn't Lee's fault and it's no use getting mad but she couldn't help it. They, him and her, were supposed to be going out for the first time- not on training, not on a mission, but on a real date. The heavens must despise her to bring about such a tragedy.

"Neji-kun… you have to wake up now…"

"Look… Tenten is getting angry…" Lee continued shaking his still unconscious teammate.

Impatient, Tenten sighed as she stood up and pushed Lee aside. There's no way she's canceling their date. Damn it, it took Neji years to ask her out. To say that she was excited was an understatement.

"Neji! Wake up!" She yelled.

And with one sharp tug, he grunted. He held his head for a moment, as if in pain.

"Neji… are you all right?" She asked.

"Tenten…?" He asked as he slowly opened his eyes.

She smiled at him. And he confirmed that it was her.

"What happened to Hiashi-sama and Hinata-sama?"

"What do you mean what happened to Hiashi-sama and Hinata-sama? We're supposed to meet Gai-sensei here but he called it off at the last minute." She asked as she helped him up.

"They were here… and they were…" He was still dizzy and his vision was still blurred.

He tried to focus at the girl before him. Two brown buns, bright smiling face, and…- he fainted.

"Neji!"

"Neji-kun!"

"What happened to him this time?" She asked, worried but a little annoyed.

"I don't know! He just looked at you and…"

"Are you saying that I look bad?"

"No! That's not what I mean!"

She went back to Neji who was again, unconscious on the ground.

"Actually, I like the color of your jacket." Lee said.

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There… I'm sorry if it's long or if it just wasted your time… I swear it was funny in my head XD

_**Hyuuga Neji…**_

_**Genius, Gorgeous…**_

_**Otanjoubi Omedetou!**_


End file.
